You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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