i barfeds in our rink
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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