i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
