So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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