Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
