Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize