i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
