i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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