she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
