I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
