I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
