So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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