He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
