I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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