I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
