I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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