dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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