some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
