I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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