That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this beer tastes like vomit already
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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