I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
