Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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