Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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