if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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