I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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