Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
