I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize