Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
