we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs