This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize