haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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