What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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