Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My penis needs a shock collar
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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