I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
