YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
