PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
