I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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