I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
