But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
