worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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