Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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