Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
God, I missed his penis.
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