ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
