sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
