Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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