there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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