Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
