having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
