Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
