you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize