Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
