how can u be prego again
Jerry, you need to find god
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
