note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
two words: eviction party
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
