I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
