Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
