arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize