If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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