I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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