Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
