i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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