I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
